Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Build up to a Breakdown

Now, the point of this whole experiment is to examine the oft-hilarious differences between what "the stars" are telling me and what they're telling my Taurus. Typically, the stars tell me how fantastic I am while cautioning my Taurus against such thinking. I was both relieved, and a bit saddened, by our horoscopes for today (once again supplied by Astrology.com):

Virgo: Your desire to make progress today is hampered by the reality of the situation — but that’s not to say that you should give up! You can make slow progress if you swallow your pride.

Now, this is not necessarily an atypical horoscope for me. There's still the stars giving me a little nudge in the positive direction. I'm still being told to hustle forward instead of checking myself and re-evaluating what I'm doing. However, it's like the stars are finally realizing that they should probably stop giving me gold stars just for making great coffee everyday and smiling

So now I'm being told to keep my pride in check - which, inadvertently they've no doubt had a hand in inflating. But that doesn't mean that they're not still right behind me like an over-encouraging parent giving me a gentle kick in the pants with the ever-helpful phrase "that doesn't mean you should give up!"

I'm pretty sure the only reason they're acting this way is because they were too busy trying to cheer up the sad, depressed Tauruses:

Taurus: Your financial issues are hurting you more than you think, but the good news is that you've got the mental energy to tackle them in a big way today. Life just gets better as a result.

It's like they realized what downers they've been in the past towards the Tauruses ("Don't trust your impulses," "Listen to other people, they know more than you," "Tread carefully where you're not familiar," etc) that they decided to coddle the horned Eeyores that they'd created.

So that's fine, send some encouragement their way because, as an avid reader of their downtrodden astrological readings, I can tell that they need it. Another day of being beaten down by being told how incompetent they are would have probably resulted in a few offing themselves and the stars don't want that do they? So really it's practically their job to remind the Tauruses that "Life just gets better as a result."

As I've reminded my Taurus though, they probably shouldn't get used to such positivity from the stars. Because it's inevitable that tomorrow they'll be cautioned to take two steps back again.


-The Virgo


Monday, August 9, 2010

The Company You Keep

For the *VERY FIRST POST* on this particular blog of mine, I decided to consult the largest astrology website (well, maybe) the well-named Astrology.com.

Before we start into the meatiness of the post though (the horoscopes), I'd like to spell out a few things first. My focus on this blog will be the trends that occur in both my horoscopes and my loving Taurus's horoscope, the differences in those trends, and - most of all - how I can use these differences for comedic value. The idea for this blog came on August 2nd when I happened to read the Taurus our respective horoscopes from the AJC. That particular day her horoscope was "It Is difficult to climb up on a high horse when you are sinking in the mud. You may be challenged if you act like you're above it all." My horoscope was "Breeze past trouble. Look the other way if people are quarrelsome for awhile." We had to chuckle because it seemed like all of our horoscopes followed the template of her being cautioned and me being supported. And so here we are; not just because I want to chronicle these for my own enjoyment, but also because I want to share the enjoyment with others.

Exposition aside, here are the horoscopes for Virgo and Taurus courtesy of Astrology.com:

Virgo: Let others brag on your behalf today -- any self-promotion coming from your mouth is sure to be taken with a shaker of salt. That's okay, as you've got enough fans to build up your rep while you rest.

Taurus:
You may be feeling a bit too attached to someone who's not good for you -- or maybe just not as good as the competition! Sometimes loyalty pays off, but for now, you may want to consider switching teams.

Now, on the surface, I'm kind of upset that this astrologer seems to think my girlfriend should "switch teams." However, I'm just going to assume they're referring to friends she may have and let the anger go.

The Funny: While my horoscope makes sure to tell me that the friends I have are awesome and truly adore me, the Taurus's horoscope seems to be pointing her in the direction of acquiring new friends. I have plenty of fans (yes, this is true) and she's attached to people who aren't good for her.

Trends: The constant thread of me being told that what I'm doing is already fantastic and she seriously needs to consider fixing herself.


So that's it for this one, hopefully in the future I'll be able to weave stuff happening in our lives into the horoscopes we're given. No matter what, I'll be sure to make this humorous and interesting for anyone who desires to read it

-The Virgo